When she was a child she sat in his den
When he wasn’t there and then she’d pretend
The door was a gateway to another world
The oversized sofa was a treasure chest of gold
The computer was a monster that often took him away
It hypnotized and mesmerized him all night and all day
The files strewn on his desk were maps of worlds unknown
Waiting to be explored by an imaginative little girl
The Den had a King and he had a Queen
But rarely was she heard of, presented or even seen
The Queen too was a ruler but the King she did fear
She sufficed all his betrayals to protect her imaginative little heir
For if the Queen left the King, on her own would she be
And the kingdom is unforgiving to those the King deems unworthy
So the Queen too used the den when no-one else was there
She’d imagine it filled with the laughter of a loving King and his heirs
The oversized sofa to her was a bed
Where the King would love her and on her shoulder rest his head
The files and the computer were no where to be seen
In this pretend world of a neglected and lonely Queen
The King had no idea of others’ uses of his den
To him it was his private place where he could work, relax and pretend
No-one would dare disturb him in this, his sacred place
It was his time to be free of responsibility and find a moment’s solace
His sofa was a yacht in the middle of the sea
Where he could sail around the world with his undemanding family
The King could be free of the mundane and boring life he led
When he secluded himself in his den of pretend
Copyright © 2008 PTD Lawrence
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Monday, December 15, 2008
Introspection 1
Have you ever missed something, but you're not sure what?
It's like leaving home, but always thinking there's something you forgot
Uncertainty plagues you like an unmemorable dream
You remember the details
But don't know what the big picture means
Have you ever wanted and needed something and prayed to be satisfied
But sometimes prayer takes a while to be answered
so you accept what you're not sure you want, just to abide
Have you ever hurried along because you didn't want to be passed
But then the crowd surrounds you, and you lose yourself in the mass
Have you ever smiled on the outside, but cried on the inside
Took a ride on the roller coaster of life
Then get stranded on the wayside
Have you ever dared yourself, and asked yourself "Could I do?"
When you know in your heart you should've first asked yourself "Should I do?"
Have you ever taken a chance and then utterly regretted it
But then again, suppose you didn't take the risk then every day you'd constantly think "What if?"
Life can be so damn complicated
Nothing about it is clear cut
Things aren't always Black, White or Gray
Just a mess of colours and ink blots
Copyright © 2008 PTD Lawrence
It's like leaving home, but always thinking there's something you forgot
Uncertainty plagues you like an unmemorable dream
You remember the details
But don't know what the big picture means
Have you ever wanted and needed something and prayed to be satisfied
But sometimes prayer takes a while to be answered
so you accept what you're not sure you want, just to abide
Have you ever hurried along because you didn't want to be passed
But then the crowd surrounds you, and you lose yourself in the mass
Have you ever smiled on the outside, but cried on the inside
Took a ride on the roller coaster of life
Then get stranded on the wayside
Have you ever dared yourself, and asked yourself "Could I do?"
When you know in your heart you should've first asked yourself "Should I do?"
Have you ever taken a chance and then utterly regretted it
But then again, suppose you didn't take the risk then every day you'd constantly think "What if?"
Life can be so damn complicated
Nothing about it is clear cut
Things aren't always Black, White or Gray
Just a mess of colours and ink blots
Copyright © 2008 PTD Lawrence
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
RePrEsSeD- dEpReSsEd - BlEsSeD
Life isn’t how she planned it to be
She’s seen too much reality to believe in dreams
She thinks to herself true happiness isn’t meant for me
If it was, I would be able to do as I please
Not be imprisoned by all this responsibility
Responsibility that she wishes she could leave
Physically confined and emotionally deprived
Sadness emanates through her dammed up eyes
A dam ready to burst though she tries her best to disguise
Her pain with a smile and her anger with deceitful guile
She knows that everything happens for a reason
And everything has a time, place and season
But she feels her bad time has gone into overtime
And it’s driving her slowly out of her already confused mind
Uncertain and unsure
Unfeeling and insecure
Wanting to feel more
Than just this anger, frustration and the constant need to war
With everyone that gets in the way
Those who don’t think before they say
Those who don’t help or give her enough time in the day
They could all just go to hell as far as she cares anyway
One day things will get better for her
This trying time will become a distant memory, a blur
She has health, strength, a family and love
Love from her family on earth and her Father above
Soon, very soon she’ll come to see
That after heavy rain falls the sun comes out and shines brightly
And maybe, just maybe these trying times are a test
And the reward for passing is to be truly blessed
Copyright © 2008 PTD Lawrence
She’s seen too much reality to believe in dreams
She thinks to herself true happiness isn’t meant for me
If it was, I would be able to do as I please
Not be imprisoned by all this responsibility
Responsibility that she wishes she could leave
Physically confined and emotionally deprived
Sadness emanates through her dammed up eyes
A dam ready to burst though she tries her best to disguise
Her pain with a smile and her anger with deceitful guile
She knows that everything happens for a reason
And everything has a time, place and season
But she feels her bad time has gone into overtime
And it’s driving her slowly out of her already confused mind
Uncertain and unsure
Unfeeling and insecure
Wanting to feel more
Than just this anger, frustration and the constant need to war
With everyone that gets in the way
Those who don’t think before they say
Those who don’t help or give her enough time in the day
They could all just go to hell as far as she cares anyway
One day things will get better for her
This trying time will become a distant memory, a blur
She has health, strength, a family and love
Love from her family on earth and her Father above
Soon, very soon she’ll come to see
That after heavy rain falls the sun comes out and shines brightly
And maybe, just maybe these trying times are a test
And the reward for passing is to be truly blessed
Copyright © 2008 PTD Lawrence
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Running Home
“Oh God” he cried as his feet made haste
He was running for his life as the shooter gave chase
Two by two bullets whizzed by his head
He screamed with all his might, “Please oh God, ah doh want to dead”
He was running for his son’s life and his daughter’s life
He was running for his children’s mother, the girl who he so often cheated on
But always swore one day she would become his wife
He was running for his Mother, she died begging him to be a good boy
He was running for a second chance, he would give his children happiness and joy
He was running so he could do it all again, but this time the right way
He was running so that next time he would go to church, give to charity and pray
So he ran and ran till his feet hurt; was the shooter still there? He wasn’t sure
So he looked around, stopped out of breath to rest, then began to run some more
Life isn’t about arriving at your destination but how you get there
Life isn’t about destroying what gives you a scare but overcoming that fear
As he ran he thought about many things and now believed he understood
The great life he thought he was living was really one that was no good
Now he was running and stumbling down a long and twisted road
Then looking up he realized he had finally reached his home
RIP
Copyright © 2008 PTD Lawrence
He was running for his life as the shooter gave chase
Two by two bullets whizzed by his head
He screamed with all his might, “Please oh God, ah doh want to dead”
He was running for his son’s life and his daughter’s life
He was running for his children’s mother, the girl who he so often cheated on
But always swore one day she would become his wife
He was running for his Mother, she died begging him to be a good boy
He was running for a second chance, he would give his children happiness and joy
He was running so he could do it all again, but this time the right way
He was running so that next time he would go to church, give to charity and pray
So he ran and ran till his feet hurt; was the shooter still there? He wasn’t sure
So he looked around, stopped out of breath to rest, then began to run some more
Life isn’t about arriving at your destination but how you get there
Life isn’t about destroying what gives you a scare but overcoming that fear
As he ran he thought about many things and now believed he understood
The great life he thought he was living was really one that was no good
Now he was running and stumbling down a long and twisted road
Then looking up he realized he had finally reached his home
RIP
Copyright © 2008 PTD Lawrence
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Sobriety
I woke up one morning and realized that I was sober
I suddenly began to contemplate the fact that I was going to die
We all are, one day going to cease to physically exist someday
The drunkenness of optimism had left me
For how long – I knew not exactly
All I know is that I want it back
I want back that feeling of invincibility
The feeling that I can do what I want, when I want
And no-one could ever disappoint or hurt me
That foggy cloud of only seeing what I want to see
Had dissipated and gone away from me
No longer can I hear only what I want to hear
And let words of painful truth in one ear and out the other ear
Suddenly I could plainly see the lines of age drawn across my face
My self professed vanity and pride now seemed a total waste
I was no longer happily stumbling and swaying through life
I was walking a straight line, eyes on the prize
Finally seeing how far away the prize was from me
Before, my vision was short-sighted and blurry
So it didn’t matter to me because I couldn’t really see
What had happened to me?
I hated this feeling of eye-opening sobriety
No it can’t be, I don’t want life to be real
I want to pretend to be happy, happy, happy
Thank God, it was just a dream
I’m still drunk with illusion and deliriously happy
Pretending that the world owes me
I am free, free, free
Free to be trapped and confined
By human frailty
By the all too human limited mental capacity
By carnality
By my own self imposed, never exposed
Because who really needs to know
That I am scared - scared to love, scared to live
Scared not to be loved and scared to die
Who needs to know that?
So let’s all get drunk with self-delusion in a world of illusion
It’s better than the real thing right? - WRONG
Copyright © 2008 PTD Lawrence
I suddenly began to contemplate the fact that I was going to die
We all are, one day going to cease to physically exist someday
The drunkenness of optimism had left me
For how long – I knew not exactly
All I know is that I want it back
I want back that feeling of invincibility
The feeling that I can do what I want, when I want
And no-one could ever disappoint or hurt me
That foggy cloud of only seeing what I want to see
Had dissipated and gone away from me
No longer can I hear only what I want to hear
And let words of painful truth in one ear and out the other ear
Suddenly I could plainly see the lines of age drawn across my face
My self professed vanity and pride now seemed a total waste
I was no longer happily stumbling and swaying through life
I was walking a straight line, eyes on the prize
Finally seeing how far away the prize was from me
Before, my vision was short-sighted and blurry
So it didn’t matter to me because I couldn’t really see
What had happened to me?
I hated this feeling of eye-opening sobriety
No it can’t be, I don’t want life to be real
I want to pretend to be happy, happy, happy
Thank God, it was just a dream
I’m still drunk with illusion and deliriously happy
Pretending that the world owes me
I am free, free, free
Free to be trapped and confined
By human frailty
By the all too human limited mental capacity
By carnality
By my own self imposed, never exposed
Because who really needs to know
That I am scared - scared to love, scared to live
Scared not to be loved and scared to die
Who needs to know that?
So let’s all get drunk with self-delusion in a world of illusion
It’s better than the real thing right? - WRONG
Copyright © 2008 PTD Lawrence
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
I Try
My looks are not faultless
My heart is not the most pure
I am not the most intelligent, most confident or most secure
I have my strong and weak moments, like everyone else I’m sure
I have food, shelter and clothing but I still yearn for so much more
But at the end of each wonderful day I try to be the best me
I could ever possibly dream to be
And if that’s not good enough for mortal man-So what?
Is it you who feeds me or guides me everyday
Is it you who shelters me, clothes me or enlightens me in any way
Is it you who protects me when temptation threatens to lead me astray
No, you, imperfect you; just sit back and find fault
with the way I look and the things I do and the things I say
So forgive me if I don’t live to please the flawed, flawless expectations of me
I need to live in such a way that I can look in the mirror
And be comfortable with who and what I see
And when all in this race for pseudo perfection is said and done
I know I tried my best to live well with each and everyone
And along the way, took some time to have a little fun
Yes when the time comes for these carnal eyes to forever close
I can safely say I tried and my father will believe me cause only he truly knows
Copyright © 2008 PTD Lawrence
My heart is not the most pure
I am not the most intelligent, most confident or most secure
I have my strong and weak moments, like everyone else I’m sure
I have food, shelter and clothing but I still yearn for so much more
But at the end of each wonderful day I try to be the best me
I could ever possibly dream to be
And if that’s not good enough for mortal man-So what?
Is it you who feeds me or guides me everyday
Is it you who shelters me, clothes me or enlightens me in any way
Is it you who protects me when temptation threatens to lead me astray
No, you, imperfect you; just sit back and find fault
with the way I look and the things I do and the things I say
So forgive me if I don’t live to please the flawed, flawless expectations of me
I need to live in such a way that I can look in the mirror
And be comfortable with who and what I see
And when all in this race for pseudo perfection is said and done
I know I tried my best to live well with each and everyone
And along the way, took some time to have a little fun
Yes when the time comes for these carnal eyes to forever close
I can safely say I tried and my father will believe me cause only he truly knows
Copyright © 2008 PTD Lawrence
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
I looked back
One day as I walked along not thinking much of who I’d meet
Just hurrying along to reach where I needed to be
Hustling onward through a crowded street
Making short, quick steps as the wind almost carried my feet
I saw you
I don’t know who you are or what you’ve done
It didn’t matter then and it still doesn’t matter now
But somehow, I feel that I will see you again
I don’t fall in love at first sight and I still don’t
Just want to get to know you; your name and the things that you like
Your dreams and maybe get your insight; about life, about love
About things on the earth and things up above
Sometimes faith, chance or God makes you cross the path of a stranger
A stranger – strange huh?
A stranger – someone who you don’t know or
A stranger - someone you just haven’t met yet
I feel that you can become important to me
I’m fascinated by you
Because I feel like I already know you
We’ve met before...maybe
All I know is that on that particular day
At that particular time
Something stirred my heart, body and mind
As we passed each other
And the stranger thing stranger, after we passed each other
I looked back, something I never do
I looked back and our eyes met cause you looked back too
Copyright © 2008 PTD Lawrence
Just hurrying along to reach where I needed to be
Hustling onward through a crowded street
Making short, quick steps as the wind almost carried my feet
I saw you
I don’t know who you are or what you’ve done
It didn’t matter then and it still doesn’t matter now
But somehow, I feel that I will see you again
I don’t fall in love at first sight and I still don’t
Just want to get to know you; your name and the things that you like
Your dreams and maybe get your insight; about life, about love
About things on the earth and things up above
Sometimes faith, chance or God makes you cross the path of a stranger
A stranger – strange huh?
A stranger – someone who you don’t know or
A stranger - someone you just haven’t met yet
I feel that you can become important to me
I’m fascinated by you
Because I feel like I already know you
We’ve met before...maybe
All I know is that on that particular day
At that particular time
Something stirred my heart, body and mind
As we passed each other
And the stranger thing stranger, after we passed each other
I looked back, something I never do
I looked back and our eyes met cause you looked back too
Copyright © 2008 PTD Lawrence
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